Even with a sewing machine, I’d be a disaster of a seamstress.

I finished reading Margaret Atwood’s Alias Grace today, and since I’ve already got another four books in the queue, I figured it would be good to keep track of how much I read during my sad period of unemployment. The book was written in the 1990’s, but takes place in 19th century Canada, and reading those sorts of books always makes me wonder about how the role of women has evolved so far. Here I am, in 2009, looking for a job out of both necessity and of a desire to be independent. In Grace, young girls had jobs as servants until they earned enough money, found a husband to support them, and lived the rest of their lives giving other young girls orders until those girls earned enough money, etc. The ones that broke the cycle were either shamed mistresses or prostitutes. Skills that were valued were needlework and the ability to keep quiet and smile when men entered the house. Today, we go to college, learn all sorts of things, and who knows what skills we will ultimately need in our jobs. Whatever the case may be, my needlepoint skills aren’t up to snuff so hopefully my other talents will be put to use. It’s amazing what 150 years and a progressive women’s movement can do. But I digress.

I’ve gotten into the habit of setting little goals for myself, just to make every day seem productive in one way or another. It’s good because it keeps me focused and from reverting into a sloth, but it’s not what I want to be doing. A month ago today I graduated, and before that I would be running around between clubs, work, homework, and classes. Now, my day consists of goals like “I will apply to two jobs”, “I will get outside and walk 3 miles”, or “I will get another page of my scrapbook done”. They’re goals, sure, but they aren’t leading to anything. I long for the day where my goals include getting projects done, acing a presentation, or finishing a task before a meeting or deadline. I’m sure once I’m employed I’ll be longing for a break from all of the work that being a real, employed adult requires, but for now, there is nothing I’d rather be doing.